Starting Fresh: Don’t Judge A Date By It’s Cover
When it comes to 
dating, there is one rule that should often be applied but rarely is: “Never prejudge a date.” Making assumptions of how a person acts is a critical mistake that nearly everyone makes, yet it limits the amount of fun, friendship, and joy you will experience in your life.
When dating is concerned, it can be easy to prejudge someone based upon our previous failed relationships, however it is important to realize that everyone is different and you are meeting someone new, not your ex. The next time you are asked out on a date, if you find that your first response is negative, take a look at the situation, and see if it isn’t because you are prejudging based upon false or negative information.
Many times, people prejudge others due to a negative experience that they encountered in the past. A broken heart is one of life’s most painful experiences. When a man or woman encounters a broken heart due to a failed relationship, the response is to put up walls and to protect themselves from receiving future pain. By doing this, we may inadvertently make prejudgments on people who, for whatever reason, remind us of the one who hurt us. Sometimes, the pain is so great, that people want to stop dating all together. These people never get past the traumatic experience and lose the love, joy, and friendship that is waiting for them in a future relationship. It may be that you need a break before dating again. After all, a broken heart deserves time to heal, but if you find that you don’t have a desire to date anyone, or if you feel that you will never find true love, then it is possible that your negative experience is clouding your judgment and robbing the joy from your life.
When you decide to date again, never prejudge your date. Let them be who they are, and realize and accept that they are not your ex. Don’t hold issues that you have with your ex against your new partner either. This is a common mistake that often occurs in future relationships. Even though there may be similarities between your new partner and your ex, you must give your new partner the respect they deserve for being a unique and different person. It is important to grieve the relationship that you had with your ex, and then you must let it go and move on with your life. Otherwise, you will never find true joy and happiness with another person.
There are other ways that people may prejudge a date, and these need to be addressed as well. Society has many unspoken rules, stigmas, and prejudices. People who live their lives by making false assumptions about someone’s character based upon the way they look, the way the speak, dress, or the color of their skin end up losing what could be great friends or even the love of their life. You should give everyone a fair chance and let a person’s character speak for who they are, and not let predetermined assumptions rule your life.
About the Author:
Ron Zvagelsky has a degree in Business Administration from the University of Southern California. Use PlanJam.com to find dating advice and fun date ideas.
January 23rd, 2008, posted by admin
